We all do it, its human nature, but I get really mad at myself when I catch myself.

I have an eye infection.

I'm making sausage on Saturday and it will be full of porky goodness.

In addition to London, I've decided to spend a few days in Paris.

Last post was depressing, miss you Grandma.

I never check this thing anymore, but luckily for LJ I have a boring office job that gives me plenty of time to manage two fantasy football teams and THREE basketball teams. Sports is my main hobby, which I'm cool with, I'm a bro. Speaking of, my Lakers dominated the Golden State Bitches last night. Go Lake Show!

Tonight I am going to work on my bicycle, which needs new derailers, and new friction shifters both of which I ordered from a vintage bicycle parts store on-line. I have a book on bike maintenance and a man-tool. Lets see how I do. My bike is awesome and it reminds me a lot of the 10 speed I had in college, which I unwisely sold to a very cute couple in San Francisco two years ago. Its a '75 or '76 Peugeot from what I can tell by the decal on the front. Its not in the best shape, but I got it for cheap on craigslist, so its a nice project to keep me busy.

Culinarily, I'm going to start making my own sausages (fresh, cured and smoked). I have a bunch of hog intestine and a shiny new meat grinder. Wow, I remember those days when I was a vegetarian...

I'm self-imposing a state of extreme poverty in order to save up money to go to London in April. I should be able to bank a lot of cash if I'm frugal. I'm planning on going with Amy, whom is one of my favorite (favourite) people so that should be quite a treat indeed. Our plan is to go to many of London's dance clubs, drink delicious beer, and maybe jaunt to Ireland for a few days. I want to go to Amsterdam for 48 hours, of which I want to remember exactly 5.

Kathleen Vento, 1930 - 2008

Rest in Eternal Peace

Its too bad I was never a singer in a band, then I'd have all the ladies.

I just got my new iMac yesterday and its freaking sweet! Begin the long, slow process of converting any and all forms of music to digital...

After three weeks of SoCal living, strike that, I.E. living, I can say with full confidence that I live in a cultural wasteland devoid of anything resembling "finer" living. Where's the bustling markets? The sidewalk cafes and PEOPLE on the streets. Southern California sucks, but I'm here and I have to make the best of it. It is nice to be close to all my old friends, Brian in particular, but it is nice to have a posse again. Speaking of which, we're all piling into many vehicles and taking over Mt Palomar State Park for the next two nights for lots of alcohol abuse, campfire songs, fishing, eating and general chicanery that warrants lots of drinking songs and embarrassing photos. I miss San Francisco a lot. I miss Amy, Melissa and Nate-dogg, Elica and Joseph, Jeremy, Danielle, Nick to a certain extent, and some old buddies at SFO.

I'm planning a few projects for myself for these next couple of months. I need to construct some type of vessel to smoke meats in. I saw Alton Brown make one out of a really big terracotta pot, a terracotta saucer of similar diameter, a hot plate and a metal grate. I can just imagine the smoky, meaty goodness that will be produced in my parents back yard this summer. I am also going to have to develop a barbecue sauce recipe to accompany the many pork shoulders, briskets, salmon, ribs, sausages and the like. My goal is to have some bomb-ass recipes & methods tried and tested for the 4th of July, where I plan on wowing the neighborhood with my culinary ninja skills. I've been throwing it down for my friends since I've been back, roasting 3 racks of spare ribs, frying up fish tacos, making weird marmalades with kumquat and jalapeño to put over pork medallions--what can I say, I rule in the kitchen. I could use a refresher in technique though, so I've been TIVO-ing food network shows, studying up for the coming grilling season.

I should start going to the gym too, as my gut is starting to spill over my belt (nasty). Why, oh why, is beer so delicious?

Hopefully I can make tons of trips to LA and Chavez Ravine, thus saving me from all the lifted pick-ups, wife-beaters, mullets and trucker hats (I embellish a little).

This is my new G-ride:

So I'm, yet again, a victim of the modern, urban crime environment. My beater of a car was broken into again, and this time they ran off with all my CDs, two iPods (both not functioning--HA!), and my aviators. Its the music that kills me the most. After the great CD purge of 2002, this is the single greatest loss of music in my life. I feel empty inside without my "Superunknown", "Dummy", "Robbin' The Hood", "Summer in Abaddon", "Live at Leeds", "Ænima", "Al Green's Greatest Hits", "Houses of the Holy" and so many other albums that I've spent my entire young adulthood/adolescence accumulating. I'm fucking pissed off and ready to move out of my shithole neighborhood. I can't believe the state of things when a man's CDs aren't safe locked in a crappy car. What a world.

On the cusp of beginning the 28th year on this planet life has ceased to be "fun". Fun used to be new, exciting, and different OR it was familiar after it was new, exciting and different. Nothing is fun anymore. Football? Eh, its still the same and not that exciting anymore. Drugs? Haven't tried any new ones out of fear or dependency and shattering my health, but the old ones aren't any fun anymore either. Friends? Can be fun, but mostly is the same monotonous routine with friends all the time. Work? This one went the quickest because I have basically done the same shit at my job since I was 17 years old...way to progress. Fuck it all, I'm sick of life, work, bills, friends, drugs, music, people, driving, everything. I haven't learned something new that I want to delve deeper into in soooo long. I'm fastly gaining weight, feeling worse about myself, feeling anxious and stuck in a rut that will ultimately lead to my spiritual demise. I'm turning into the fat, lazy bastard that I always said I hated, that I'd never be because I was too smart for that, too talented and capable of great things. Now I don't believe that as much, because where the hell can I go? I can't quit my job, how will I pay my bills? I can't start to seriously look into a different field, how would I justify those loan payments when I'm not doing what I set out to do? Will I end up living with my parents until I'm 40? My world fucking sucks and I wish it would go away.

I'm not sure about anything at all really, but what my heart keeps SCREAMING to me is that I need to change something about what I'm doing before I blow a synapse and wig out forever. I think that its all the time I spend at the airport, with all the people's sounds mixing into this turkey-like gobbling and then the loudspeaker filling my ears with more noise about the treat level being Orange, and that we all need to report unattended bags and the like. I think somewhere back in '03 I made a decision and it was the wrong one. I shouldn't be working in the restaurant industry, and I shouldn't have moved to San Franccisco. All I can really say about my time here is that I attended a sub-par culinary school, amassed a lifetime of debt and have worked shit-job after shit-job with nothing much to show for it. I'm miserable and I want to just quit. Leave the state and try to scavenge a life somewhere far from this city. I was almost in tears last night on my way home because I hate my job so much, and would (at this point) rather scrub toilets or pick up garbage than have to come back again. Its the worst place ever to try and run a restaurant. People, for the most part, are bearable if not slightly better than that. But when you put them in an airport, well, they feel the need to be complete slobs, bastards and stark-raving idiots. "Excuse me, where's my gate?" I reply, "Your standing right next to it." "Oh, sorry." Yeah, sorry's right, you tool. Why are people so fucking dumb when they are inside a really big building?

I've got the pre-symptoms of another cold. I just got over a pretty gnarly sinus infection thing, about three weeks ago. I've been sick kind of a lot this year, and I'm not sure if I want to blame vegtarianism or not. The one thing I'm certain of is that I'm in serious need of a new diet, a plan of action when it comes to food, because right now when I'm hungry I just find whatever I can, put it in my belly and forget. Consequences of this disregard to health are apparent in my new bike tire I'm carrying around and the fact that I can no longer comfortably wear my $200 Sevens. I did drink lots of good wine the past two nights, and feasted on wild mushrooms from the Sonoma coastline. MMMmmmm...porcini...

My good friend Melissa enlightened me to the concept of friend time-out some months ago, and I think I'm about to employ said concept with my buddy Nicholas. The gist of friend time-out is that instead of bickering and fighting with a friend that has some how made it onto your shit list, you simply tell them why they're on friend time-out and then you don't see, call, or talk to them for three weeks. This gives plenty of time for that friend to be mad at you for putting them on time out, get over that fact, reflect on the reason why, and eventually miss you enough to apologize for being such a dick about things. On to my friend time-out situation.

Nick is down on his luck right now. He's out of work, in the depths of serious rebound issues after recent break-up, and he drinks too much. Wrap all that up and Nick gets surly, rude and downright disrespectful sometimes. So I'm fed up with being the butt of bad jokes, snide comments and embarrassment in front of people I barely know that are his new friends. Nick has chosen new friends that I just plain don't like, and I was invited over to his place last night without prior knowledge that they were there and that I'd have to endure all this crap when what I really needed was a heart-to-heart, some beer and to relax and watch TV or play video games for a couple of hours. Instead I was made fun of by these people (including Nick), ignored and basically insulted most of the night. I'm not too upset about being ignored by his friends, because they're self-absorbed, bratty dullards that can't have a decent conversation without telling blatant lies about themselves. So he's gonna hear from me tomorrow that he's on F.T.O. for the next 3 weeks and we can revisit the state of friendship then. My life is too short to be treated like I'm an idiot or an asshole.

Shit yeah, I was at this show.

I went to see the greatest living band last night: Pinback. Okay, so maybe they're not the greatest living band, but they are pretty fucking awesome and I was fortunate enough to be at Bimbo's last night for their show. Lots of new material with some really great old tracks. I'd say that aside from "Torch", which is a new song, all the really good goodies were from past records. They even played "Microtronic Wave" and they closed with my most favorite song: "Sender" (which gave me the name for my super-cool bloggy). Other high points were Rob's Star Wars hat, Zach's crazy range with his voice, "Loro", "Syracuse", "Montaigne". Yeah, I'm going back for round two tonight and hopefully to see a completely different set. Pinback rules!

So I turned 27 on Monday with little fanfare or excitement to speak of. I've never been one to tout my birthday, throw extravagant parties or make a big fuss over it. I've been that way since I was a little kid and not much (in that respect) has changed. I did get to have an awesome vegan dinner with a few friends, but it turns out that this has caused the always feared: DRAMA. So I've not been forthwith in updating this thing much lately, and I don't usually comment on the lives of others. I mostly use this thing to whine about my life, brag about cool shit, post videos that I then watch later, and generally oogle myself in the internet mirror of the weblog. Anyway, about a month-and-a-half ago my friend Nick broke up with his girlfriend Amy. I am good friends with both people, but of course this presents a dilemma bestowed on the friends of the broken up couple in our tiny little sphere. So Amy asked me over for dinner the other night, which is pretty random b/c I usually hang out with Nick. With the thought of free dinner I of course accepted and went on over. As I stated above, birthdays are not really of much importance and I was just going to see a movie and maybe go buy a new hoodie or something. But Nate and Melissa (more friends) strongly encouraged me to celebrate with them at some type of restaurant of my choice. I chose Millennium, San Francisco's premiere vegan eatery b/c I love me some vegetables. So I asked Amy if she wanted to join us and she said she'd love too. Anyway, Nick's all butt-hurt that I invited Amy instead of him even though I see him all the freaking time, he's probably allergic to everything on that menu, and I really didn't PLAN this thing it just sort of happened. I didn't even talk to Nick, I got some call from Nate about it last night and I couldn't believe that I had to listen to some 4th grade drama about one fucking night. I love both of them, and I want to be able to spend time with both of them. Unfortunately its probably going to have to be independently of one another.

Begins with a slow digestion of new Pinback album. Sweet!

Still in Hawai'i, day 6 of my 8 day adventure. So far its been more than I could have imagined and I've had the time of my life. Suffice it to say that I've been buzzing all over the island in a convertible with the top down, shades on, coated with sunscreen, blasting reggae the whole time. I'm staying in Puna, a district of the Big Island that is on the southeastern sids. Its covered in thick rainforest, with lava flows cutting through the jungle. The coast here is rocky and nary a beach in sight. There are some pools and cliffs that offer breath-taking views. I did some camping on the western half of the island for two days, and that's when I experienced all flavors of beaches. They have white sand, black sand, and even green sand beaches here. I plan on hiking to the Kiluea Iki Caldera today (fancy words for volcano crater) and then into town to shop for souveniers and eat. The highlight of my trip so far has been snorkeling with sea turtles (one was as big as I am). I'll try and post all the pictures I have to flicker soon, but there are lots to sift through. Its time for breakfast and then the volcano. Ta.

Current Mood: awake

In stores Sept. 11!

Listen HERE!

Chipotle is in everything.

Man, do you love bad 80s rock nostalgia as much as I do? Rock on Scorpions! (whistles the whistling part). Yeah, change. It can be coins, fresh clothes or a new scope and scale to your job. In my case its the latter. You see, fair reader, my GM got the axe on Friday and now I'm filling in for him until my company can find someone else to do it. That person may very well be me, but I don't know yet. Its a 10K/yr raise which is pretty nice, but there's a lot of BS that I'm not sure I want to have to deal with on a daily basis. That GM title would sure look sweet on a resume, but it would mean, theoretically, that I'd need to stick it out for at least another year and I just don't see me still in the Bay Area in a year's time. I really want to move to Colorado, and its becoming stronger and stronger each time I think about it. We'll see, I'm going to Hawaii in 3 weeks(!) and I plan on doing some soul searching while I'm there (in between umbrella drinks and luaus). My folks were really excited when I told them about the new opportunity, but they don't really know about my desires to move to the above mentioned land-locked state. Meh, maybe I'll just flip a coin. To clarify, I'm not necessarily a shoe-in for the position, just that its there and I can interview for it if I want it. I'll probably do the interview, just to mine Adam for some info about what his and the company's expectations are. I'm sure that there will be more to follow soon.

In other news, my face is much better now. Ahh modern medicine, magical wonders of science and fungus blend to create comfort and happiness in people's lives. I was pretty pathetic for a few days last week, cloistered in my room with the shades drawn watching borrowed DVDs and not shaving. Man that first shave was so sweet! I'm not sure how to describe it for the female audience, but not shaving for three or more days is very uncomfortable for a man with a thick beard like mine. Its itchy, you get little pimples in it that hurt real bad, stuff gets stuck in there if you're not careful (I'm NOT), and you look like a vagabond. The worst part is not shaving my neck. I've grown my fair share of facial hair (notice the rhyming skills in that last phrase), but I've always shaved my neck. All those curves near the Adam's apple get really pricky when you don't shave and its maddening!

Shaving was one of the first changes in my life that let me know that I was growing up some. I remember that first, aweful teenage mustache. My mother finally said that I needed a razor and she went and bought me my first one. That was 13 years ago! 1/2 my friggin' life. Damn, I never realized that I've been shaving for 1/2 my life. That makes me feel...well, something. I don't know, but its an interesting factoid about me. By 9th grade I was growing big sideburns and earned myself the nickname "Chops" for a while. That name was gifted to Nate in college because he grew some mighty mutton chops that put my 9th grade ones to shame. I had a goatee (sp) for a long time, I've had the full on beard, the chin-strap (beard minus mustache - it was college and that's all I'll say), and even a mustache for a very, very brief period. With all the facial hair configurations out there I still like being clean shaven; its easier to deal with.

I've been listening to tons of music lately, mostly old stuff in my collection. Lots of System of a Down lately, with some Shins to balance it out. One band I've been getting more and more into is the Scissor Sisters. Y'all should go out and find the song "Bicycle with the Devil", it will change you. Maybe not, but its a great song. I bought Spoon's most recent CD Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga a few weeks ago and finally dove into it this past week. Its very indicative of their style, and has some wicked songs on it, like "Underdog" and "Don't You Evah", but it doesn't seem as good as Kill the Moonlight or Gimme Fiction. Maybe it will grow on me more as I listen to it. I love it when albums do that, they seem to be my favorites. Alex also sent me an excellent rock n' roll CD by the Eagles of Death Metal and I love it, lots of Josh Homme goodness. Support your local bakery and go eat a croissant.

Current Mood: calm